Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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