Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
