and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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