Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
