So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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