mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
