i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
