I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
