He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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