I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
