You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
