every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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