You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
