Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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