The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
