I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
