i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize