No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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