It's Friday. Sex?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
