its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
