Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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