White coat. Heels.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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