May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
