no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
