I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
