fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
