So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
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Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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