bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
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If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
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do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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