I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
