Even the bartender felt bad for me
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize