So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
is it fun? or sober?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
