I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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