I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize