he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
They took my balls.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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