i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
