we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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