Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
