Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
