Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
