Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
