Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
