Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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