So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
