I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
