im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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