break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
