So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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