What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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