I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just want to make out with him forever
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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