Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
two words...techno handjob
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
