its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
