Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
