i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I queefed so loud it echoed.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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