Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
