You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
