i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
