Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
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