So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so let's talk penis.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
