what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
