You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
