in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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