he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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