My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
