I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
