Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
