we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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