Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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