Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
jump out the window naked night went bad
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